I bid you farewell.....

That moment when a part of you dies. When the ground beneath you literally crumbles to pieces. The world around you just falls apart. Your future, your dreams, your family, your security....all gone. To anyone else who has been through this, is going through this, or will one day face this, I am talking about the end of my marriage. In the last week I have been thrown more my direction then I ever thought I could possibly handle. You look at the person you have loved and shared a life with for the last eight years and begin to wonder where it all went so wrong. He has found someone else to fill the empty space in him that I just could not fill. It's so hard to feel what I want to feel when I look into his eyes and I know in my heart I still love him and I always will. The feelings rush through you like a wave of emotions. Never in my life have I felt so many emotions at once. Death signifies closure, finality, and ending of life. Divorce has no finality when there are children involved. The only ending of life is life as you know it. I know that I have the strength to get through this and I know that one day I will be alright, and yet, this just saddens me. I just want to scream. I want to bury myself beneath the ground and wait for Spring to emerge new and ready for life.